Last night I had the honor to join my crew in a discussion (our FIRST on-the-record discussion) about inclusivity in our friend spaces.
Massive props to the brave women in our crew who started this convo.
Folks let me awkwardly fumble through a way-too-long Google Doc of notes about how this has been coming up for the people I spoke with before getting on the mic.
We leaned into discomfort as a team of Fun Pros who embody this behavior in pretty much all other aspects of life — so why not here too? As my wife Abigail so amazingly put it (paraphrasing), we get to create the type of community we really want, one we can thrive in, not one based on default norms, but one that fills our needs to shine.
So today I’m sharing love to my crew, your crew, all crews willing to take small steps towards making things feel better for everyone. It’s a forever practice, and I know this is just the beginning, but I’m just dang proud and hyped that my team’s on the path.
In meditation class the other day my brain was swirling. Cycling through loads of BS. I eventually woke up, realizing I was trapped in these wack thoughts instead of listening to a bunch of birds and meditating. I said “OK fine”—out loud, I think. This is what’s going on in my head? “OK fine.” Do you, brain!
Acknowledging and naming these thoughts made it all way less heavy. It put me in more control. Not of my thoughts but of my reaction and their eventual shift. I was less bummed at myself for thinking of the BS we could spend all-day-everyday clouded by. I was able to witness my thoughts. To notice and eventually laugh at them.
Weird I wasn’t present with the beautiful day and birds but, “OK fine.” I was able to let myself off the hook. There was nothing wrong with these thoughts. It was, and is, so often all in the reaction to them.
“OK fine” is my release valve from all this pressure. I say it in the tone of talking to a friend doing something you don’t recommend or something you want to give them a little crap for. You’re gonna do that? Alright… I say it in that tone we use to make things inherently a question. One that requires some reaction, if even an eye roll.
I can sit there and laugh at these wack thoughts, even the really tough ones. I can question them, I can wonder why my brain’s going that way, and I can even clown myself a bit for being so far from the moment.
In Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott shares a quote from her friend that she says changed her “Permanently.” She was trying on a dress to wear to a date that night and asked her friend if it, “Made her hips look big.” Her friend replied, “Annie? I really don’t think you have that kind of time.”
Do we have time to dwell on wack BS that’s not serving us or our crew? Why would we take any time away from having fun and being 100% us?
I know I’ll forget this in about 5-minutes. That’s why hype living is a practice. It takes hard work in this royally f’d up world to be the Fun Professionals we know we’re capable of. It takes discipline and reminders and all the little tricks we make up for ourselves to survive and thrive.
“Originality rises from your underground truth. When you have a passion of the truth about yourself, originality will percolate up through your work. When you go for the truth, originality takes care of itself.”
Been working on a submission to a literary zine for a month or so. Tweaking, editing, feeling confident, feeling deflated—repeat. Realizing I need to hurry up and get rejected so I can move on and submit more work!
This is the first time I’ve ever submitted something. Who am I to think they’ll love and feature it? Why, in any reality, would they give a fuck?
Not to say the work is bad. It’s just my first go.
I’ve seen this so many times with musicians (and BEEN this musician). “Nah I can’t perform yet, I would need to make sure everything is perfect first.” Result: never performing. You have to give it a try, fail, and get better. There is no shortcut.
Recognizing I need to do my final (final, FINAL) edits, hit send, and start writing the next thing. I need to subscribe to these zines. Purchase them. Learn about more of them. Keep supporting and reading other folks’ work. And keep writing and submitting my own.