Just loving this
Been working on a submission to a literary zine for a month or so. Tweaking, editing, feeling confident, feeling deflated—repeat. Realizing I need to hurry up and get rejected so I can move on and submit more work!
This is the first time I’ve ever submitted something. Who am I to think they’ll love and feature it? Why, in any reality, would they give a fuck?
Not to say the work is bad. It’s just my first go.
I’ve seen this so many times with musicians (and BEEN this musician). “Nah I can’t perform yet, I would need to make sure everything is perfect first.” Result: never performing. You have to give it a try, fail, and get better. There is no shortcut.
Recognizing I need to do my final (final, FINAL) edits, hit send, and start writing the next thing. I need to subscribe to these zines. Purchase them. Learn about more of them. Keep supporting and reading other folks’ work. And keep writing and submitting my own.
Submission sent ✅
Got to have an outdoor, distanced coffee with a friend a little while ago. It felt extra special since it was months before the recent CDC mandates were lifted. It was one of those times when you don’t see a friend for a bit and they’re doing hella work and you link back up and they probably don’t even realize how badass they are.
She and I talk about work stuff a lot, maybe even too much, but we support each other in this way and other friends are better than us at making us laugh so it’s kind of just who we are.
This time she taught me about how chilling is anti-capitalistic. That not grinding for an institution or someone else, or even ourselves depending on what that looks like, is a strong statement. It says we’re not following the faster/more/now push and that we care enough to take legitimate time to honor our projects or papers or assignments or lives.
It helped me re-solidify my decision to refocus my work life to give more time to creative work. Working multiple jobs for a bit, I started feeling overly stressed and was unintendedly feeding into a system that would just keep wanting more.
We see this a lot. We might be crushing it at work and realize all we’re doing is setting the bar higher for ourselves without receiving the acknowledgment or compensation we deserve.
This is SO HARD for those of us committed to hustling. My crew is full of these badasses. Folks with experience and drive making it hard to be around anyone not pushing to the utmost. Not working hard can feel like a diss to our work ethic.
I realized I could keep honoring my hustle, but bring it to my own work VS someone else’s. I love who I work for and what I do, but it isn’t fully my shit. It’s just not and that’s OK.
The challenge is seeing and believing in the importance of our creative work and values, even when this looks like sitting in the park or backyard staring at birds. We can look at our work as more important to the work we do to pay bills—really the only way we can show up to pay bills in a healthy headspace anyways.
I’m sure this just gets even more complicated if your creative work IS paying bills, so trust I’m not sitting here thinking how easy that would be. Shoutout to all artists and anyone doing you 100 and being compensated from it.
My coffee-date friend is a ridiculously creative Fun Professional. She’s doing so much dope work outside of the paid dope work she does. Bud, if you read this, I hope you get to smile for a sec and realize how inspiring you are.
Love you! Thank you! CREW!