Letting the microfiche chill

I was sitting this morning and trying to connect, regroup, do whatever it is I’m trying to do with meditation (probably a forever question…). I started to think about why it’s so hard and maybe even a bit scary to let everything go and just sit.

My mind raced with stuff I want to do, have to do, loved ones in pain, ideas for breakfast – the whole 9. As I sat there it started to feel like when I was a kid and got to use microfiche.

I remember moving it back and forth really fast to make it look like a trippy pile of facts and dust. This is what I was seeing – a never-ending rotation of stuff. Once I acknowledged it and made a clear intention to let the microfeesh chill – after a few breathes – it did.

The scary part is getting there meant looking myself in the core. Not a bunch of cool goals and dreams or even regular tasks – just staring straight in at myself at ground level. Getting here felt good and like I was able to have the courage to see what’s really inside VS everything I do or want to do.

Maybe you can try this out – whether or not you meditate or used to get trippy with the microfiche. A short walk or before falling asleep would work. Try seeing yourself as who you are, not what you do or plan to do.
Hope you dig, and if you want to let me know how it goes
🧡💙

Busy

We’re not so busy when our mind and body is totally still – it can all go away for a sec and give us a sense of connection to everything else…

Had a cool feeling yesterday I wanted to share. I basically tried really hard to forget all the stuff in my mind/body – the to-do’s, the frustrations, the joys, the family stuff, the aches in certain body parts… I let all that go for a sec and let my mind and body get totally still.

And it all went away.

My anxiety around being super busy with work stuff, gone. My overthinking what the hell is happening inside my left knee lately, also gone.

It gave this awesome sense of connection to the world around me, where beyond all the stuff, we’re all in the same boat. We’re all just here starting from scratch every second, even though it feels like so much is set in stone.

What was rad is I was able to carry this attitude into my day for a bit. I definitely forgot about it a lot, getting busy with work stuff, feeling overwhelmed at times… but when I just sat back into that feeling it helped me get a perspective on everything I was doing, what’s important, what I wanted to do, and what I accomplished or didn’t.

 

Hype mobile

Emotions roll in some circular spread that feeds us all types over and over. This we know from experience 100%. It’s def not comforting to know we’ll be sad again – especially when feeling it so hard in the moment. But we also know we’ll hit the other side of the circle eventually too, and find some happiness and hype.

I’m learning we’re supposed to try and learn from that (duality?) and think about how we can’t really have one without the other. Which can be hella hard to sit with when you’re feeling low, and almost equally not a fun thought when stuff is great.

Maybe knowing time brings all types of feelings and we aren’t going to feel a certain way permanently is what can help us be know we’ll feel better when things are tuff. It can give us confidence to sit with our feelings and really feel them – knowing we’ll eventually move past.

For some reason this got me thinking about those baby spinning mobiles. Those little dangles can rep an emotion. Probably some days the wind or whatever metaphor to stuff happening in life we want to pull makes it stay in one place, and other days it really spins and we get to feel that too. Like a little staring kiddo, we don’t get to control it so much, just rest in knowing it’s always changing.

So hype vibes are around the corner. Leaning in and learning as much as we can from the less hype zones will probably make it even stronger when we get there. 💪🧡💙

S/O to my mega-strong buds feeling it rn and the dope support system we have in the crew

The dentist was easier

I hope this helps anyone thinking about meditation and needing to hear more concrete stuff about its benefits. 

I went to the dentist this week and although there are always spots that feel so crazy when they get hit by that tiny laser-water pick… I swear it was easier this time. And I think it’s from meditating.

I felt the pain in a different way and just focussed on relaxing and sitting with it. Maybe I could have done this in the first place, but I think my 4-5 months of meditating pretty regularly is what changed things.

I know putting specific goals on meditation for improvement might be totally backward but its fun to see changes after a practicing anything for a while – super encouraging to keep rocking.

This morning I had another cool breakthrough. I was listening to the audiobook for When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödron and she was talking about focusing on the out breath and facing your fears.

As I sat, focussing on the peace you get from a nice out breath, I realized that I was creating space to just sit with my mind, letting it be in its natural state. All the busy stuff my mind showed me in this space (100% worky to-do listy stuff) is what’s happening in my head, and are the fears/challenges I need to face. It was clear that I need to keep rocking to get to a better place with this stuff, otherwise it wouldn’t have been cluttering up my head while sitting there doing nothing!

This gave me some cool clarity to work with. Far from a solution, but a nice goal to move towards.

Holler 🧡💙

Everything

Everything – the good and bad – is all part of the world around us and makes us who we are. Internal good and bad – external good and bad. This morning thinking about this helped me be less hard on myself for something I did over the last week that I kept thinking was in the ‘bad’ category. And maybe it is – but the balance of realizing its all a part of a much larger whole helped me sit with this in a new way. From stuff we did way in the past to stuff we’ll do or witness in the future, maybe this is a perspective that can help us dip through it. 🚢

Mind your intake: What if art is the news?

We’re a blank slate in the morning, and it’s our choice what starts shaping our day…

I woke up at about my usual time today, always shooting for 5:30 telling myself ‘discipline is a muscle’ and actually getting up around 6.

Most mornings I get my tumeric/honey/lemon drink steeping and head out to my lil shtudio (aka og brown shack aka Xanadu) for about 15 minutes of yoga and then a 15 minutes meditation – capping it off with walking my dog who depending on the day is either losing his shit or asleep on the couch.

I kept reading about how having a solid morning routine is huge for setting the day off right so I slowly worked my way into this version and it’s been a pretty badass way to slide in and set myself in the right direction for the day. *I also totally acknowledge being lucky as hell for not having to jet out for work this early – shoutout: my brother*

Today was a bit different as we didn’t have any water at the house and live in Tucson which is home to not the best drinking water. So I grabbed a 5-gallon jug and started the day with a water mission.

Lots (and maybe most) of my drive time is reserved for blasting Joshua Johnson or other journalists I dig. So I got in the van thinking I’d get some early morning NPR time but stopped short of that and put in the new Busdriver instead. 

My day was totally open. 100% free from any sources beyond my fam. To add anything but raw art to that felt wrong.

Plus Busdriver’s new album is news.  It’s only a couple months old (which I’m old enough to consider new) and consists of track after track of dope vibes and stories reflecting everything happening in our world.

Getting water was so damn fun! I let it bump with the doors open while I filled the jug in the empty liquor store parking lot where our fav water dispenser sits – feeling honored to hear this music and let it meld my morning.

I went into the day knowing I could do or make whatever I want. The things I was about to do felt creatively charged and less like work.

Same goes for our bodies. I’ve been trying something for a little while where if I’m pretty hungry (and still in control of my actions so not hangry) I’ll shoot for some fruit or something small first to subside – instead of smashing right into that sammy.

In the same way my day was wide open this morning, I feel like my hungry self is open for whatever and loves it when I drop some good things inside first.

Is that a stretch? What’s your morning routine? Ever try jumping into some 6am ‘Driver? 

Holler if you want and thanks for peeping ♥

Harness the superpowers of professional chillers

My neighbor parks in front of our mailbox every day. We’ve gotten a super cool 80s note about it in our mailbox and it changed nothing. I started to think this has to be pissing off our awesome mail carrier – an older gent who rocks mutton chops wayyy tougher than any hunter or bro in history.

He remains unphased. Because he has to. His annoyance threshold is 100x higher than any of us. If it wasn’t every day would be totally crappy!

Same goes for bus drivers. They’re almost unshakable. Sitting quietly while people fight, drink, and even worse – clip their fingernails (seen it twice in life so far – one bus, one plane 🙏)

These pro’s don’t get annoyed because if they did everything suck! Their annoying threshold is lifted so high that stuff that bugs us out doesn’t even register. They hustle too hard to care, and since they work directly with the public if they decided to get start stressed it would create a never-ending shitty crescendo.

*Honorable mention: the badass cart attendant at my local Safeway 🙇

I’m going to give props to this gang for a sec before showing you how to harness their superpowers for personal inspiration.

I’ve always held mail carriers in the highest esteem.  I write thank you notes on the outside of packages that say ‘mail carrier’s patience appreciated.’ I dig their fashion and was once told I looked like one at a party  😊. I even tried to get some USPS gear once but learned its actually illegal to unofficially rock the uniform – which is pretty cool for making it a little harder for sketchballs to act like they belong ringing your doorbell. Still – let me get some shorts and a sweater!

And bus drivers changed my life for 12 years in Portland, especially the one who told me he was ‘bordering superb!’ If you ever road the 15 in the mid-2000’s you know… “Tripple Nickel!!”

One time on the 20 (Burnside) a rider was drunk and screaming (SURPRISE!)… The driver didn’t flinch, calmly stopped mid-intersection and asked him to get off the bus. Dude kept swearing and yelling “What is your name!!” The driver quietly answered “bus driver” and asked him to leave again.

Eventually this drunk cartoon knew he couldn’t frustrate the all-mighty-mega-chiller and hopped off. The whole bus cheered and laughed – the driver gave us a slight smile and drove on.

Let’s learn from the masters of only giving a fuck about stuff that matters. 

Save your energy for being an awesome friend and leave your problems confused and hungry for beef like the drunk fighty bro who eventually gave up. The stuff that annoys you will do the same.