I was sitting this morning and trying to connect, regroup, do whatever it is I’m trying to do with meditation (probably a forever question…). I started to think about why it’s so hard and maybe even a bit scary to let everything go and just sit.
My mind raced with stuff I want to do, have to do, loved ones in pain, ideas for breakfast – the whole 9. As I sat there it started to feel like when I was a kid and got to use microfiche.
I remember moving it back and forth really fast to make it look like a trippy pile of facts and dust. This is what I was seeing – a never-ending rotation of stuff. Once I acknowledged it and made a clear intention to let the microfeesh chill – after a few breathes – it did.
The scary part is getting there meant looking myself in the core. Not a bunch of cool goals and dreams or even regular tasks – just staring straight in at myself at ground level. Getting here felt good and like I was able to have the courage to see what’s really inside VS everything I do or want to do.
Maybe you can try this out – whether or not you meditate or used to get trippy with the microfiche. A short walk or before falling asleep would work. Try seeing yourself as who you are, not what you do or plan to do.
Hope you dig, and if you want to let me know how it goes