Harness the superpowers of professional chillers

My neighbor parks in front of our mailbox every day. We’ve gotten a super cool 80s note about it in our mailbox and it changed nothing. I started to think this has to be pissing off our awesome mail carrier – an older gent who rocks mutton chops wayyy tougher than any hunter or bro in history.

He remains unphased. Because he has to. His annoyance threshold is 100x higher than any of us. If it wasn’t every day would be totally crappy!

Same goes for bus drivers. They’re almost unshakable. Sitting quietly while people fight, drink, and even worse – clip their fingernails (seen it twice in life so far – one bus, one plane 🙏)

These pro’s don’t get annoyed because if they did everything suck! Their annoying threshold is lifted so high that stuff that bugs us out doesn’t even register. They hustle too hard to care, and since they work directly with the public if they decided to get start stressed it would create a never-ending shitty crescendo.

*Honorable mention: the badass cart attendant at my local Safeway 🙇

I’m going to give props to this gang for a sec before showing you how to harness their superpowers for personal inspiration.

I’ve always held mail carriers in the highest esteem.  I write thank you notes on the outside of packages that say ‘mail carrier’s patience appreciated.’ I dig their fashion and was once told I looked like one at a party  😊. I even tried to get some USPS gear once but learned its actually illegal to unofficially rock the uniform – which is pretty cool for making it a little harder for sketchballs to act like they belong ringing your doorbell. Still – let me get some shorts and a sweater!

And bus drivers changed my life for 12 years in Portland, especially the one who told me he was ‘bordering superb!’ If you ever road the 15 in the mid-2000’s you know… “Tripple Nickel!!”

One time on the 20 (Burnside) a rider was drunk and screaming (SURPRISE!)… The driver didn’t flinch, calmly stopped mid-intersection and asked him to get off the bus. Dude kept swearing and yelling “What is your name!!” The driver quietly answered “bus driver” and asked him to leave again.

Eventually this drunk cartoon knew he couldn’t frustrate the all-mighty-mega-chiller and hopped off. The whole bus cheered and laughed – the driver gave us a slight smile and drove on.

Let’s learn from the masters of only giving a fuck about stuff that matters. 

Save your energy for being an awesome friend and leave your problems confused and hungry for beef like the drunk fighty bro who eventually gave up. The stuff that annoys you will do the same.