Choosing fun // practicing hype // supporting creW

Over the weekend I was working with a partner nonprofit for a film screening and live Q&A. Our partners range from super low maintenance (2-3 emails total) to some needing dozens of emails, calls, and texts.

The rep from this group texted me that we’d need to sign up for the Facebook event to get a link to the Q&A… not totally true and just adding to layers of Zoom confusion. Getting texts day-of, which happened to be a Saturday and usually an off-day, lead to this building up in my head as a way bigger deal than it actually was.

While in the shower getting ready I realized I had the choice to stress or not. I could let them know actually we didn’t need to sign up on Facebook, or just show up however and not stress it or talk about it.

It felt really good to laugh it off. To know that I could be reactive and stressed, or just chill and experience the exact same final outcome, a substantive and impactful Q&A. Makes it all sound pretty obvious right?

Realizing I need to chill the f out (this practice on repeat for infinity), I thought about what the artist Dax said on this IG live with the artist Rime the other day. My bud sent it over and the timing was perfect. It inspired me to cool out and have fun.

Dax was talking about not being so god damn serious. He said he’ll wake up and put on something funny like Tiffany’s “I think we’re alone now” and dance and laugh to “loosen up the energy.” He was talking about hanging with his folks in a situation where things could have been tense. I just love how simple and fun this idea is. And thinking about it a bit more, it’s something we’ve done as a crew for years.

I remember so vividly when my bud put on “Never Gonna Give You Up” while we were lurking around a cornfield next to our campsite and we all immediately broke out dancing.

Similar to another bud bringing a Sublime tribute show VHS to a cabin we rented. And way similar to “The Wake Up Jam” — still on my record shelf today — a ridiculous happy hardcore(?) song that, when played at 45, invokes all the emotions at once, almost always ending in smiles.

My shower-brainstorm about being less serious at work inspired me to have fun in ways I’ve been doing forever – but just forgot about. That’s a lot of what this hype practice is gang. It’s forgetting and remembering and re-remembering and unlearning and new learns over and over again for infinity.

It’s inspiring each other and listening to each other wherever we’re at, and that’s kind of the beauty of crew. We get to provide this support since odds are someone is always up and someone is feeling more low. Both totally OK and important to honor.

When my friend sent me that Dax/Rime IG Live I ended up really needing it. So happy he sent it over!

i am thriving in large part because i am in relationships where we stagger support, giving freely when we are the ones who have energy/love/money/time, and asking freely (or reluctantly, depending on our shapes around interdependence) when we are the ones struggling/lonely/broke/maxed out.

adrienne maree brown – “if you’re good, say you’re good”

The hype (like the hustle) is non-linear. Stress from one thing can combo with inspo from something else, and bring us to a space of realization that things are aight and it might be time to throw on “Particle Man” and laugh like my bro and I used to when we’d sneak into our sister’s room to play it back in 91′

¡creWlove! 🍊💜

no big deal

I remember having a wayyyy eye-opening experience in 2004 when I first met someone my friend was seeing and their shirt read something like “Please tell me about your band.” Because I probably would have…

“Everybody is too busy with their own lives to give a damn about your book, painting, screenplay… Making a big deal over your creative shtick to other people is the kiss of death.”

From Ignore Everybody, by author and cartoonist Hugh MacLeod

It took everything I had to NOT tell her about our band. I’m always open to learning and seeing where I can improve so this was pivotal — still is even years later.

We just kicked it like regular peeps. What a concept!

They eventually came out to some of our shows, had a blast, blogged about our stuff, and introduced me to a super dear friend.

None of this would have happened if I pushed my band/art/religion/politics right off. The creative sharing happened naturally, teaching me a necessary lesson in humility and listening.

As artists and as people, it’s great to have reminders to listen and learn before diving in with our stuff. Using this as another one for me.

CREW🍊📘

“WTF old-me?!”

I didn’t love Danny Brown at first. It took me a couple of years to hear his genius before playing XXX and Black and Brown on repeat and getting some of his lyrics tattooed (so just a super chill fan now).

Same with Count Bass D. I scored a Pre-Life Crisis CD at a used shop and at first shied away from the record’s intense originality, eventually singing every song and discovering more of his work like Art for Sale and soon, the crew classic, Dwight Spitz.

It even happened with DOOM. I vividly remember holding Operation DOOMSDAY in my hand dozens of times at music stores as a kid and for some reason not buying it. I couldn’t stop being drawn to the art but I wasn’t up for the challenge. I was buying what I already knew to stay comfy (and unafraid) like De La, Del, Tribe, Wu, Beasties, and Biz. 

My harmful self-protection (aka fear) kept me from experiencing DOOM for years. This part of me that wanted to avoid harm was trying it’s best to help but failing huge.

The art testing (harming) me let me know I have a ton of work to do to 1) sound anything like these cats or, even better, 2) be ok with their genius without needing the sound to come from me. Ego all-round.

This stuff challenges the ‘white man with the answers’ ideology engrained in me via society from day one. Combine that with a suburb kiddo doing everything they could to wear the right stuff to fit in and you get a big ole pile o’ fear.

Even into my 20’s, when I heard new stuff I would sometimes throw shade because it was either so different from what I was doing or — more often — because it sounded like what I might be capable of with a scary amount of work. Instead of spending hours practicing I could protect my ego by hating.

I’m so happy to call these vibes out and grateful to be able to see it happening more clearly now. This can be what practicing growing looks like. We can give ourselves props for recognizing wack patterns and not letting them detour our listening, learning, and building as artists and people.

It’s OK to look back and be like, “WTF old me?!” There’s no way for us to have the perspective we do now as youth. But if growth is the goal, It’s not OK to move forward without responding when we notice we’re protecting our ego and hiding from things we’re likely to love deeply if we can let go of fear.

cruluv💘

Frenemies

“The more we make friends with ourselves, the more we can see that our ways of shutting down and closing off are rooted in the mistaken thinking that the way to get happy is to blame somebody else.”

Pema Chodron, from We have met the enemy — and the friend, featured in The Pocket Pema Chodron

You could argue my old boss wasn’t setting himself up to live his best life most days. Drinking beer with breakfast (not at the airport or in Europe), usually stoned and feeling like the world was out to get him, and always repping the “Everyone else is so crazy” vibe.

He had his good qualities too. I still kind of love his anarchist self-righteousness. When he overheard a kid talking shit about a woman’s body at The 24hr Taco Shop in Tucson, in one motion, he opened up his untouched burrito and threw the entire thing at the kid’s face, telling him to have some respect. Not sure if this lesson was necessarily heard, but still! He apologized to the staff, put $20 in the tip jar, and took off on his bike.

He and I had an unexpected falling out when I (surprise!) took a new job. He went as far as questioning if I had been a spy the entire time, and made up a story about a police report he filed against me.

This was hard. I live in a smallish town and would still be seeing him around. Instead of blaming him for the lingering wack feelings, I’d work on what I could try to control – myself.

I go to a weekly mediation class on Saturdays to practice the metta karuna bhavana or loving-kindness meditation. You choose 3 people: one annoying, one neutral, and one friend or fam, and wish them all (along with yourself) happiness, health, peace, and safety. It’s online, let me know if you’d ever like to join.

He was my chosen annoying person for weeks, months even.

I slowly started to realize my old boss just wanted to be happy too, and remember the day when he moved from annoying person to neutral – that person you see at the grocery store or on walks but don’t really interact with. It felt like a pretty big accomplishment. In the next couple days, we even passed each other on bikes and my wave was returned with a little mini-wave. Progress!

“Even if you do want to feel angry toward another, it’s the person’s deluded mind you should be upset with, not their physical body. Their mind is uncontrolled; they have no choice. When they attack you, they’re being driven by uncontrolled attachment or anger; thats what you should be angry at.”

Lama Yeshe, The Peaceful Stillness of the Silent Mind

Politicians and shitty news folk are def the hardest for me here. How can we send someone who is destroying people love? I guess they just want to be happy too and happen to have a convoluted way of doing it. The issue being their “uncontrolled mind.” They’re way out of touch and, unfortunately, create real consequences because of it. So get them the fuck out of office, and then get them in therapy.

Think of bro that hosts that InfoWars show (sorry). John Oliver shared this clip of him claiming he would eat his neighbors if need be. Obviously this is total BS, completely an act. He is just confused, dangerous, and stuck in a cycle of his happiness tied into him saying horrible shit. Sounds terrible to me, and that (I’m gonna say), brings out a bit of… compassion for him? (🤢 vs 🧘🏻‍♂️ )

Compassion for my old boss, for wack politicians or influencers, for all “enemies” 100% better serves me to rep for me, and that always ripples out to my crew and community. It makes us happier and healthier, and I’m proud they don’t get to take that away from us.

creWlove🧡💙

“Check up: visualize all universal living beings around you and realize that equally, just like you, they all want happiness and don’t want unhappiness. Therefore, there’s no reason to make the pychological distinction between friend and enemy, wanting to help the friend with extreme attachment, and wanting to give up on the bothersome, conflict-generating enemy with extreme dislike.”

More Yeshe from Peaceful Stillness…💗

How to kill a zombie apology 🧟‍♂️

5 different times the other day, I noticed friends and I challenged by doing what we know is right in our hearts and resorting to zombie apologies. These hollow offerings usually come from a place of kindness, but how kind are we being to ourselves while apologizing for the way we live?

Happy to say I also witnessed the opposite, where confidently leading by example squashes any need to feel even artificially bad about it.

1

Crew is realizing they don’t need to apologize for owning a home. A simple space to work and live. A sanctuary to recharge and do the dope stuff they love to do. They are so compassionate and giving it’s been challenging to get to this point, to realize this space is deserved and OK. To recognize this space as how they’ll be able to keep being their best self for the work they do in the community.

Friends who they would usually spend weekends helping with projects and don’t have time for right now offer hype and support when they hear the news. They want to reciprocate the years and years of selfless love.

2

Crew doesn’t need to apologize for laying low and being off the radar for a bit. For staying mostly of social media. For concentrating on their mental health. It’s a pandemic, they bought a house this year after years of searching, and are finishing learning a skill they love in school. These are choices to be proud of, and it’s OK to openly own them. They are different choices than being more visible but one isn’t better than the other.

3

A phone call talking with crew about unconsciously dropping apologies in emails. Catching ourselves replying with a “Sorry for the delay” when an email is 5 hours old. Working against wack norms and expectations like believing our response must be late and we should be sorry for that. Our time is no less valuable than the person on the other end of the email. Instead, we can offer a thoughtful, confident reply even days later, leading by example and being part of the movement to remove this expectation.

4

I’ve been trying to turn zombie apologies into gratitude.

A good bud invites me on bike rides, camping trips, park hangs, and hikes. I rarely go. Right now I’m focussed on my art, house, fam, and repping for laying low during COVID — especially having experienced the reality of COVID in our house. I’m also trying to make sure these aren’t excuses, but trusting them as heartfelt decisions I can own fully.

He doesn’t get on my case for laying low and I’m always grateful for the invites. I wanted to acknowledge him without apologizing so I sent this text. It was one of those texts that had been on the brain for a while and it felt good to finally send. Like most things that get overly built up in our heads, sending it felt great and their response was full of love and hype.

5

How to kill a zombie apology.

My wife confidently lives by example. She didn’t apologize for recognizing in me a pattern of speech having an impact I didn’t intend. She thoughtfully and plainly let me know. It wasn’t easy to hear. I’m feeling grateful to be in a relationship where this type of honest growth is expected and encouraged. Part of that is being OK with sitting with it in the fire. Unapologetically learning.

Where can we get in front of our zombie apologies and catch ourselves before falling into unconsciously offering one up?

Where do we unintentionally cater to a culture of unwarranted apologizing?

We can skip being sorry for leaning into the explicit, experience-based choices we make to be us. It might be awkward for a half-second when we don’t go the regular route, but we might inspire the person on the other end to think about doing the same, and we’ll definitely feel better not questioning who we are.

karoooo!🧡💙

Paying attention ♻️

The other day I woke up to a surprise text from a friend that sent my mind going all sorts of ways.

I usually try not to look at my phone before being awake for at least a couple of hours. Too many times I go for a quick check and get pulled into work or news my brain def didn’t need to see yet. I use a cheap trippy-light alarm clock and get up hours before needing to start work, so my phone can stay hidden away charging until I’m open for biz.

But this day I wanted to check the weather to see if it was a good morning to make a fire.

The text was my friend asking if he could hire me as a hype/job coach. They wanted help building a resume, recognizing strengths, and talking through next steps re: power moves.

I love doing all this stuff for friends so the answer is abso yes! But I sat with it. I took it with me to my Morning Pages, then to a quick 15-min sit, and then to my morning 1-hour of writing.

It got me thinking about being open to our paths, to the signals that pop up on it, to paying attention. I started writing and realized I was basically writing an update to this post from January 5th, 2020.

In that post, alongside some siiick Gravediggaz art I made inserting myself and LUG on their 6 Feet Deep album cover, I shared a couple of quotes about paying attention, and what was coming up for me in life that felt important to pay attention to at the time.

Follow your heart and pay attention.

My Buddha-Mom Susan

Looking at what’s happening in this moment as a window to see our path, and recognizing the truth in our heart. This type of clarity comes and goes, so when we feel it it’s important to trust fully and maybe even write it down somewhere.

So often things feel more abstract and the inner-hater/voice of doubt creeps in letting you know you should probably just stay the same forever. Here we can go back to that time when we saw the truth.

Maybe writing a list will help? Here’s my list of things I’m currently paying attention to.

  • My dog LUG (currently asleep in front of the fire)
  • Text from my friend about hype/job coaching
  • PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS all day, every day (and the inspo they’re bringing to music I’m working on)
  • The Listening Path by Julia Cameron – so far reads like a rehash on The Artist’s Way with a deeper dive into paying attention (down!)
  • What It Is by Lynda Barry – ridiculously cool book, full of inspo for looking at the world more creatively and openly (you will probably get this in the mail from my wife and me someday)
  • Re-organizing my schedule to give more dedicated space to creative work and owning it by saying no to working during these times

Pay attention to what you pay attention to.

Amy Krouse Rosenthal

A year ago my list was all music and audiobooks – I think I was looking at what I was consuming. This time around it was fun to recognize what I’m paying attention to overall.

What are y’all paying attention to? Is it telling you anything about your path?

creWlove 🧡💙

Rest in the utmost hype

The coolest, the smoothest, the rapper with the most effortless vibe left us a few days ago. Double K from People Under The Stairs (PUTS).

Probably my most rapped-along-with MC of all time. I legit wanted to be this man in so many ways. He could rap like an old school vet and step back to crush the turntables, all while having the most fun. He’s a hero. He took me back to wanting to be MJ as a kid playing basketball — but did it as an adult.

Taught me to speak in techniques and never critique
A DJ with no rhythm just pull the plug and be out
Get some records from that fool that’s what I’m talking about

He taught us endlessly about having fun, rapping and DJing with love, and not worrying about labels, identities, or beef. He and Thes One showed us what a brotherhood in a rap group looks like — pretty uncommon as time goes in hip-hop. They were the soundtrack for an unforgettable era of our crew. When fun completely ruled.

Now Double K is teaching us about living, from how he stayed in the moment to his leaving us to rep for him to the future.

Party people live long because it’s just begun
Gather in the space place just to have some fun

I first heard these lines on a forklift in SE MPLS. I worked in a warehouse full of pool chemicals we shipped to Walmarts around the country. My boss rigged a small portable radio to turn on automatically when you drove the forklift and I had the dial on 770am Radio K.

I remember so clearly near the end of a shift on a Friday afternoon, jamming Hang Loose while loading up the last trucks of the day. The song made the whole situation feel ok (pretty big props when you’re talking about breathing in chemicals for Walmart!)

Hang Loose became one of my favs for the next many years and still is. It spoke to, and speaks to, the person inside me that just wants to have a blast. It’s not a typical rap beat and both Double K and Thes One go in unapologetically like old school rap heroes. Plays well to somebody who grew up staying up late to watch YO!

In an era where a lot of underground rap sounded dark, PUTS came with the brightness of FUN. Thinking of other well-known underground rap in the late 90’s-early 2000s like Atmosphere in MPLS, Project Blowed in LA, and Def Jux, and more Premiere-esc stuff on the East Coast. The difference is stark. Not to take anything away from all these artists— more a shout-out to the P for owning their style fully.

PUTS also speak on racism, poverty, addiction, drug dealing, street life— but with a poignant discretion. When they do, you hear it. And one of my favorite things about hip-hop is it’s ALL political. You don’t need to be overt to express these vibes. Hip-Hop IS resistance at its core. From Biz Markie to Immortal Technique. Whether you’re rapping about hanging with crew or impeaching the prez. It’s valid and necessary.

I’m never hamster using
I’m crossfader cruising
Slip mats and hard liquors be the tools that I’m using

As a DJ, Double K taught me to just go without ego or identity. I still love the Invisibl Skratch Piklz and the whole turntablist movement — such amazing weirdos! What Double K did was make it OK to walk up to the tables and just start cutting.

He helped me get away from perfection and needing to master a certain scratch, and I remember a couple of times weirding out other DJs with this motivation to rock. Without it, I would have been afraid to cut given my crab wasn’t perfect on the 4 yet and I never learned to rock hamster. I always imagined Double K would shrug that off, put a record on, and cut.

All good things must come to an end.

My wife Abigail said something like when a hero like Double K leaves us, it makes them human.

He was always so larger than life to me, even when seeing him at a show or in-store. He still is and forever will be. But he’s also human. He’s a symbol of what humans are capable of. He taught us that life is short and to enjoy the f out of it.

Double K left us at 43. What are we doing y’all??

Are we living and loving every minute or at least putting the intention there and enjoying what we get? I’m making this another reason to rep for myself and the crew like it’s the only choice I’ve got.

Peace to the real crews defacing walls on backstreets
In the city of set, porch, halls, and swap meets

So much love to Thes One, all of Double K’s fam, and all the super fans like me. Let’s go right the f ahead and rep his vibe moving forward. Always and still. For the fun and for the real. Rest in hype Double K <3 LA

CREWLOVE

PS: Highly recommend reading Thes One’s recent Instagram posts for some deep insights into Double K including some mind blowers for me like how much he loved nature, water, and sunsets. <3

infinityhype

Floored by the hype yesterday y’all.

Had 4 ridiculously inspiring and surprising-in-the-best-way messages over email and Discord from crew focussing on health, crushing creative moves, building community, and being inspired by books like Gucci Mane’s autobiography (haven’t read, will peep!)

These legit fueled me all day gang. THANK YOU!

Top this off with some other shit I abso love:

  • Friend lets you know they bought the book they asked you about
  • Friend receives the book you mailed them
  • Friends flood crew chat with new tunes to hear

I sat there blown away at the end of the day. So happy. Without thinking I started DJing and had a blast playing some PUTS and DOOM tracks – settling on bumping the first PUTS record The Next Step for dinner while nook-dancing and reading a bit more about the group.

So grateful to be down with friends that reach out like this. I hope they know it—and I hope this re-reminds you what it feels like to be on the receiving end (aka please share your greatness!)

Thanks for inspiring me to stay on the hype path. Know everything y’all do ripples out. It challenges us all to honor whats possible in ourselves.

CREWLOVE

👍🏼🐶

I can’t stop giving my dog LUG the thumbs up. A single, way-too-energetic, extended right thumb.

Every time I walk by him it happens without even thinking about it. I look like an overzealous and totally unnecessary boss. “Keep up the good work, there’s pizza in the breakroom!!!”

I think he gets it is the thing.

Like my hand making this shape lets him know he’s all good and can stay napping until the next meal or snack — soon to be signaled by a classic double leg pat.

LUG, def happy I woke him up for this. Way more important than sleeping.

Jewels for the living

“If you really want to teach somebody something, you have to wait until the person’s ready and then do it. If somebody’s mind is not ready, you shouldn’t try to push your religious ideas onto that person, no matter how strongly you believe in them. It’s like giving a dying person a precious jewel.”

Lama Yeshe, Lake Arrowhead, CA, 1975
Trying to rep this hype every day.
From the Foundation for the Preservation of the Mahayana Tradition, PDX, OR

Lama Yeshe was talking about the type of religious extremists to push literature in public spaces during a talk transcribed in his book The Peaceful Stillness of the Silent Mind.

Yeshe says “The mind needs time to absorb any idea.” And I’m wondering — what about political extremists and racists? Do we use the same teaching?

Maybe this is a path for us, for you out there, doing the hard work in your community. Maybe you would feel better and do better work by saving your breath on folks who aren’t ready?

The same day I started writing this post, I moderated a live Q&A for one of the films I work on, The Long Shadow. The film focuses on the history of anti-black racism and the roots of white supremacy in America. Inevitably, questions about how to reach the seemly unreachable starting coming in for the director, Frances Causey.

As a moderator, I usually let Frances do all the talking and focus on making sure everyone’s questions are heard, keeping track of time, and steering us back on topic when needed. This time I couldn’t stop thinking of Lama Yeshe’s teaching. Is sharing anti-racist resources with someone who has deep-seated white supremacist views like giving a dying person a precious jewel?

The idea of not trying to reach them bummed me out, I thought “this situation is different, this is bigger.” Is it?

Frances shared she thinks about 30% of the country is unreachable right now, but not to let that discourage everyone from doing the work. She gave a few examples of organizations partnering with different community groups to get more folks at the table, and hopefully, eventually, the folks who really need to be at the table show up and listen.

We work with a lot of faith-based groups so this does happen from time to time as these congregations are rife with all types. We also always share the short 15-minute version of the film in case it’s a better starting ground for the unconvinced.

I wonder what y’all think. Maybe don’t share your utmost dope vibe and energy with folks unwilling to see the path? Do they deserve these jewels yet?

Share any ideas or resources here if you’d like and I’ll add them to this post if you’re down.

creWlove🧡💙

“Gotta do stuff you love”

Had a super inspiring chat with one of my best buds the other night. I walked around one of the smaller parks by our house picking up sticks to use for kindling being floored by how smart and strong he is.

He’s going through a lot right now to say the least. We all have stuff and it’s all relative, but on paper, he probably wins. His challenges are hitting the tuff spots like family and work — all while, like all of us, trying to stay healthy during a global pandemic, and mentally healthy during infinity political stress.

His “hack”, his “11 ways to…,” his method that admittedly mostly works for staying up through all this: “You gotta do stuff you love.”

He listens to his heart, trusts what he loves to do, and knows he needs to do it to feel better. For him, that’s making art and collaborating on art with friends.

As someone who admittedly over thinks this stuff 🙋🏻‍♂️ — I’m amazed at how straight up and honest he is about what he’s going through, and how he uses the same inflection when talking about his simple solution.

It isn’t easy. The proof is in the dozens of other convos we have with folks in our life where we hear about all the hard stuff happening (legit) — but less-so ideas for feeling better.

He deserves full props for a convo that went something like:

  1. Are y’all good?
  2. Word glad to hear, here’s some hard stuff I’m going through.
  3. It’s ok though, this is what I’m doing to feel better.
  4. It’s up and down, but I know I gotta do what I love.

To top this off he’s even psyched about a potential new job and we worked on his resume a bit the next day. (One of my fav things to do in the world)

I always intend to do what I love but I’m hella prone to overthinking it or even forgetting (“Oh yeah, biking!”) — so I hope he knows how helpful this was for me. If it seems obvious maybe you’re already on the right track. I’m sure the people in your life appreciate it.

My friend has all the reasons to complain and give in. There’s plenty of wack shit to go around for all of us right now. It’s usually right there in our pocket just waiting 😈

I hope his straightforward approach inspires you too.

I love writing stuff down and sharing it, so here’s me doing what I love to feel better. I know that’s important because doing your fav stuff is doing you (shoutout, Apache), and doing you is always doing for the CREW🧡💙

I’d rather be a hypocrite than the same person forever

My brother’s been asking me to watch the new Beasties doc on AppleTV just about every time we talk. So grateful he stayed on me to watch it – it’s ridiculously good and worth it even if I forget to cancel my AppleTV free trial. Thanks bro!

We’re both super fans and loved the book. This doc – that’s more of a live stage show – goes a bit deeper in terms of who they became during Licensed to Ill and how off that was from who they wanted to be.

The super jams from that record were created as complete jokes, but became real to the fans and later the Beasties.

Ad-Rock and Mike D talked about disowning this material and having to work from scratch, playing smaller shows to build their following into folks they were actually proud to rep for, leading them to eventually even bigger shows than their early 80’s tour and MTV takeover.

Mike D goes off-script at one point to give props to Ad-Rock for his response to an interviewer later in life, way post Girls and Fight for Your Right

I’d rather be a hypocrite than the same person forever.

Might not be Ad-Rock status but I’ve been here. I am here. I know we probably all are to some extent. I’ve written wack, homophobic, misogynistic rhymes and have old freestyle tapes I can hardly listen to. I’ve completely dissed myself/those around me moving with blinders, and lacking intention.

Luckily forever-change is the only constant and we can start and restart living with our true hype integrity every second. We can surprise folks by being different. We’re never stuck with a viewpoint. It’s always ok and actually super brave to come with a new perspective.

Bart Taylor eventually joins the Rad team y’all.

Rad – Vinegar Syndrome

CRU🧡💙

Done/ready/here

Yesterday I felt a legitimate release. A feeling of being done waiting on fully doing me.

This was brought on by a lot of things coming to a head. The biggest being my wife stuck in the ruckus room with COVID.

We’re here, laying low, and monitoring her health which is currently not fun, but stable-ish — no cause for a hospital trip.

Shit just got wayyyy more real at our new spot (circa 1.5 months for us). Everything that had seemed important like scoring a rad table on CL or new cassette shelves— all dope things we knew are still material — totally disappeared.

She’s being so strong and positive — such a testament to who she is. Somehow still cracking jokes and asking how folks are.

Huge thanks to everyone reaching out with support. I hope y’all know how much it means.

I also just left one of my jobs, not realizing it was going to feel like this and coincide with all that’s happening. Never seen so many clear signs to rep.

COVID in our house, news of DOOM’s passing, hearing tribute mixes like the brilliant Stretch & Bobbito mix I listened too while staring at a fire for 2 hours, and (though I hate to admit it) the Captiol terrorist tear-down…

Its a lot. And I’m down to be feeling all of it. Here for her and here listening to my heart, paying attention to what life is teaching, and most importantly, acting on it.

CREWLOVE🧡💙🪁

Test for BANGS

Just talked to Bangs about starting a website. Fuck I love when friends get hyped about doing creative stuff. SO DOWN. Helping him see if he can record voice snippets and add them to his posts. CREWLOVE

++++++++OR++++++++++

Just talked to Bangs

about starting a website. Fuck I love when friends get hyped about doing creative stuff. SO DOWN. Helping him see if he can record voice snippets and add them to his posts. CREWLOVE