Been thinking hard about family and friends in prep for a trip where I get to see a lot of both! Letting it sink in how these people are the most important thing in life.
Fuck a job, a car, a _____ when you have a friend who will take you in and buy you groceries. That’s the wealth I’m proud of.
Relationships with friends and fam can also be really hard. We’ve all seen and probably experienced these relationships slip out of control. I’m thinking of ways to get through this without having an estranged homie who knows pretty much everything about you and likewise.
You gotta be down to have feelings. Your crew is going to make you feel certain ways at times and you need to be able to experience that while being supportive, helpful, modeling better behavior… whatever the situation is, expect to feel many things!
You also gotta be down to have the hard convo with someone going through it. As we get older we realize all the problems you hear about in peoples families and friend groups are actually a lot closer than we think. We all have people who have dealt with addiction and suicidal thoughts in our circle, I guarantee it.
So be ready to help – It’s really easy.
1. It’s not about you (remove your ‘self’)
2. Be for them
You need to experience the hard stuff, and you need to self-care of course – but first up is removing yourself from the situation. Don’t be stressed that you have to feel a certain way or pretend it’s not the best time. Because it’s never the best time, and we’re all busy, all the time. Not an excuse.
It’s also really easy to forget that comparing your experience doesn’t really help right off. It definitely can – but it’s way more impactful when asked for by your fam in need instead of bringing it to the situation right away. Let them have the feelings.
Remove your ‘self’ & be for them.
Just exist for your bud! Sit there and just be the rad experienced person you are. The awesome friend who knows a lot of ways to help and the best way to start is just listening.
Sometimes we overplan life and forget we can just park it with the crew and lounge. Guaranteed cool times will happen and we didn’t need to do anything but share space. When your crew is in a vulnerable space this is even more important.
They might not reach out or will feel weird about asking directly for help. If you know them well enough, just text that you’re coming by with a kombucha for some front porch chilling. They’ll know why and be grateful for what a dope friend-daughter-crew-brother-gang-partner-homie you are 🙂